So basically, the feeling is both nervous and exciting. Exciting, because senior year is going to end fast (I get to leave Northwest, and the imbeciles that go there), I got accepted into a college (University of Maryland, Baltimore County! The possibility of me going to Montgomery College is pretty much eliminated! Not hating on MC, just hating on living at home -_-), and a multitude of other good things. Nervous, well, because senior year is going to end fast (I’m going to leave my friends, my childhood is ending, the mundane life I’ve gotten used to for almost 14 years is going to change), I got accepted into ONE college (what about the others? What about GW?), and a multitude of other not-so-good things.

People questioned why I feel like it’s a bit scary that I’m going to graduate, and essentially become an adult. Well, I question why they DON’T feel that way. Sure, I’m looking forward to the freedom, additional rights, and other fun things about being an adult, but I’m going out into the world on my own now. Realistically speaking, there will be more worries in the future, making the problems we had as children pale in comparison. How do mortgages work? What exactly is a 401k? How do we do taxes?! And money. Money? How am I going to pay for myself?

Anyway, this post is not dedicated to this. So now…

This one won’t be as detailed as this one, because I honestly can’t recall any notable events. Does KAT-TUN count as a notable event? Because I think about them every single day.

Come to think of it, I began the year with KAT-TUN. (I’ve told this story multiple times, so I’ll tell the abridged version just for you.) I discovered them in January, and was reluctant to like them at first (because after all, they’re a Japanese boy band. They used to wear “flamboyant” costumes, to say the least. And they’re a boy band!). But after I watched Cartoon KAT-TUN, I fell in love. And I have been a dedicated fan ever since. And I’m convinced that Taguchi Junnosuke and I would make the most epic couple in history. I MEAN WHAT?

I passed my AP exams with 4s and 5s!

Senior year began in August, and I have to say, it’s been great. The feeling of superiority is priceless and almost indescribable. Seeing as I’m not the biggest and tallest person around, it’s nice to be able to wear a blue shirt during pep rally days just to let people know how much better I am than them. I got mistaken for a freshman the other day, embarrassingly enough, but that’s neither here nor there.

I’m cramming all my high school experiences this year, as you can tell from my previous post, so I won’t elaborate on it here. Instead of going to prom as a junior, I went to anti-prom, and it was probably just as good. But this year, 2011, I will go to prom. Definitely.

Um, I won a raffle for the first time, thanks to my love for KAT-TUN. (Still can’t get over that.)

I also got a new iPod! We’re attached at the hip (err…never mind. We’re just attached.) I’m so overwhelmed by the features it has. I don’t think I’ve used all the functionalities.

Senior year hasn’t been all good. I’ve fallen into a slump twice, but I have since improved my attitude. Some of my classes were just a touch too much (*cough* AP US History *cough*), but I’m learning to deal with it. You can’t have it all…

MADLY IN LOVE WITH CHANGE UR WORLD.

Junno’s birthday is also a notable event (NOTEable. No pun intended. My first self-created Tumblr post with lots of notes.)

And now we’re here. The holidays. I make reindeer candy canes every year, but this  was the first year I felt a little…weird making them. I was taken aback by the fact that I even feel this way. I feel like I’m getting kind of old to make something as childish as that. But I figure, it’s my last Christmas as a minor, last Christmas in high school, I should make it worth it.

Wow, this was a long post. To make up for the two months I lost. Sorry it’s a bit scatterbrained, and not as organized as my 2008 year in review, and sorry it’s so laden with KAT-TUN, but I’m churning this out on a nice Sunday morning just for you. Thanks for reading! Happy Holidays! Happy New Year!!!

Sorry! No cool Photoshop drawing this time! I'm a very busy person.

I wasn’t exactly the beacon of school spirit these past three years, and I haven’t participated in nearly as much stuff as I should have. So, to remedy this, I decided to cram all my high school experiences into one year. It could make for my greatest year in high school ever, if I make it through my entire checklist.

My incomplete checklist currently includes:

1. Go to prom
2. Go to homecoming [COMPLETED: Oct. 2009]
3. Do the homecoming hallways [COMPLETED, barely: Sept. 2010]
4. Go to a football game [COMPLETED: Aug. 2010]
5. Go all-out during spirit week [Semi-completed...like, eh: Sept. 2010]
6. Actually HAVE school spirit
7. Cut class/Senior skip day
8. Get straight A’s [COMPLETED: way back when.]
9. ^Stop worrying about my grades!
10. Legit high school party, with risky business
11. Make some awesome friends [COMPLETED and still in progress: since the very beginning.]
12. Change myself for the better [COMPLETED: out of the blue! I actually have confidence now!]
13. Live out Mean Girls (in a good way.)
14. Have a day like a dramatic teen drama episode [COMPLETED. That is all.]
15. SENIOR PRANK!
16. Fight the power

I can’t really think of anything else, unless anyone wants to contribute any ideas to the checklist. Please, give me some ideas. I know I’m missing so many things.

This will, of course, be periodically updated, just in case anyone is curious (but I know no one cares).

You’re probably thinking this is really dumb. Because it is. Keep in mind that this is just for fun, and I won’t be religiously following the list like a crazy person. Even without this list, I know this will be the best year ever, even if it will also be the most stressful. It’s way too fun to flaunt my superiority, especially on class color days. It’s just so unreal that it is coming to a close soon! But hey, to those class of 2011 seniors out there, we need to have some fun and make this the best year ever!

ONE ONE!

My iPod and I have been through a lot together.

The drawing isn't good enough to steal, but...please don't. I mean, come on.

You were awesome. All 74.86 gigabytes of you. (Although, I do still feel kind of cheated because there’s obviously supposed to be 80 gigabytes of space in there. Way to go, Apple. Way to stick to your promises.) Even though we had our ups and downs, I appreciated you very much.

You were my source of entertainment. You lifted my mood day in and day out. You cheered me up when I was down. You woke me up in the morning.

And you provided me montage music when I pretended I was on a TV show.

You were a fantastic investment. I replaced my Archos with you, downgrading the screen size but upgrading the storage space and features. You were black and shiny and new, and a very small device (at the time). I had already set up my iTunes and everything, so I could start listening right away.

You got a scratch the day I got you. It was small, but I noticed it because I’m OCD. (How did that happen? How can you get scratched by air?) And now, your casing is laced with battle scars from my less-than-careful treatment of you, and for that, I’m sorry. You were still going strong for a long time, though.

I would take you everywhere. School, vacations, anywhere else. We were almost attached. You made long car rides bearable. Sometimes, the songs you play put me on a sort of “on-the-drive” mood. It’s hard to explain. I don’t think anyone will understand what I mean by that. There are just some songs that are best played in the car because it has that type of mood.

Basically, we stuck together until the end. I don’t know how or why it happened, but your death was quite sudden. You didn’t even get sick. You froze and that was that. It’s too bad I didn’t get to spend more time with you. Did I do something wrong? Did I take care of you right? Could I have done anything to prevent your passing? Or is there anything I can do to save you now?

I will miss you dearly, especially during this music-less period in time where I can’t listen to songs on demand. It’s true, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Farewell, iPod (unless I can resuscitate you, but the outlook is grim). At least you didn’t explode.

I try to put up a post once a month, just so the list on the sidebar has all of the months in order without a skip. I know. I have OCD. But since I have nothing interesting to talk about, I’m probably not going to sync this to Facebook anymore, since no one cares. (And yet, I’m too lazy to go on Facebook to turn off the feed, so this is probably going to end up there anyway. )

So, the blog’s purpose has shifted slightly, since I’ve outgrown that period where I hated everyone and wanted to write hateful things semi-anonymously on the internet. Now, it’s more like a monthly update of what is going on with my life or what I’m interested in.

Before February 2010, I only got a few views because I don’t pimp my blog. Being internet-famous was never my intention. I actually think that with that kind of fame comes stress, and more haters than I ever want. However, the only post that is keeping tofuninja afloat is my Cartoon KAT-TUN post, which averages about 10 views a day.

Oh well.

I have a Facebook, a Tumblr, a Twitter, and various other mediums of expression other than this blog, so maybe my dullness is getting spread so thin that there’s not enough of it. Twitter houses my spur-of-the-moment thoughts that can’t really be written in paragraphs, Tumblr is for the lulz (99% of the posts aren’t even mine…all reblogs), and Facebook is for real people (even though I hardly use it anymore. I get bored easily).

“You can just write about your opinions!”

My opinions…I have a lot of those. Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I’m very opinionated. But I think I’ve slowly changed into a pretty laid-back person. I still hold strong opinions, it’s just the difference is that I now don’t have the URGENT NEED TO SHARE THEM AND TYPE IN ALL CAPS AS A SCREW-YOU TO SOCIETY WITH TEEN-ANGSTY FERVOR!!! Looking back on it, I can say I’m pretty embarrassed about who I was before. I was one unhappy kid to say the least. My life wasn’t that bad, even though in my young teenage little mind, I thought everything in life sucks, people suck, school sucks (still does), and so forth. (Although, my middle school could also be the reason why I was such a sad sack, but that’s neither here nor there. Hey, I’m not bitter. Really.)

Sometimes I wonder to myself, “What on earth do these people want?” I was a quiet kid in elementary school, pretty much the textbook definition of “shy.” I was a killjoy, a good girl who didn’t like misbehaving. I hate to admit it, but I cried a LOT. But in my defense, wouldn’t your feelings get hurt if someone stepped on your craft project on purpose? (I’m so not bitter. Honest.) People complained about me being sensitive, so, I became a little more outspoken in middle school. I also decided to talk back loudly and voice my opinion.

So if I talk more, people don’t like it. If I talk less, people don’t like it. When I was too nice, I was a goody-two-shoes. When I put a little poison on my tongue, I was a bitch. So what was I to do?

High school was different. I guess it’s because of the great people I met, but somehow I found the right balance between mean and nice: snarky without being a bitch, nice without being a pushover.

Don’t get me wrong. A booming voice replaced my meek one, and I do slip and say things I didn’t want to say aloud. (The word “obnoxious” comes to mind.) But I still think I’ve changed for the better. Sarcastic beats pushover any day. I’m also happy to say that I have a lot more self-confidence than I did before, and it’s all thanks to awesome people. I would also refuse to acknowledge my faults, but now I feel relaxed when I speak about them. Hell, I’m probably a more flawed person now. But I don’t mind talking about it.

Let’s attempt to wrap this tangent up full circle, shall we?

So, because I have chosen to lay back and stop caring, I have much less fodder to work with. I was thinking of posting stories, but…no. My life isn’t interesting, so that’s a bummer. Therefore, the future of this blog is uncertain. I don’t have the heart to delete it because about two years of my thoughts are on here. If I don’t delete it, I’m still obligated to put up something once a month because of my irrational need for perfection.

So maybe, I’ll just continue what I’ve been doing. A post every 30 days won’t kill me. :)

It’s awesome, I know.

I churned some of my blog posts and secret short stories through the system, and these were the results I got:

And to my extreme disappointment:

• Stephenie Meyer

When I read the result, I said, “NO! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!” and proceeded to pound my fists and thrash around in frustration. But then, I read the subject matter of my post. That one in particular talked about what was going on in high school and a lot of other boring stuff I was sure no one has read, so it comes to me as no surprise to me (anymore) that Stephenie Meyer came up.

My older works generated the David Foster Wallace result, whereas my newer ones produced the Vladimir Nabokov result. Great, my current writing style is similar to that of the author of Lolita. I read enough of the beginning to feel really weirded out by the author and the subject matter, but maybe I should read the rest of the book so I don’t have such a closed-minded approach towards it (After all, it WAS a long time ago, back when I desperately tried to preserve my innocence. That ship has sailed).

Also, I probably got that result because all three posts were written in first person, and in two of them, my character was narrating in first person, just like in Lolita. I guess the good thing about this is that my characterization is consistent!

I also couldn’t help but fangirl over the fact that one of my posts yielded “Stephen King.” (Refer to my Gladys post.)

I am by no means a writer, but somehow, it’s good to know who I model my writing style after. Although, I slightly doubt the validity of a computer-generated result. After all, the robot only scans the words and cross-references them to various databases and finds an author that uses the same words. But it’s all in good fun!

These also give me an idea of what books to read when I get the time…

“But wait! Isn’t your dad a computer technician?!” you ask? Yes. He knows tons of stuff about computers. He knows more than the average person, and he fixes problems pretty well, too. However, it’s just little things, basic stuff, that he lacks. He still needs to look down at the keyboard when he types. It doesn’t make any sense, seeing as he is a computer technician, but he types so excruciatingly slow that it drives me crazy. Also, he refuses to use the search box on a website. Let’s say he’s browsing through Amazon, and I want to look at a product that he has already seen. He will not go to the search box and type what I want (slowly), but instead, he will say no, press the back button, browse that page, repeat 20 times, until he finds it.

Little things.

Oh, and my mom. Where do I begin? Well, she has recently been able to use the computer for basic needs, the interwebs and stuff. She’s not that great, but getting better. Actually, I can recall one funny instance where I was surprised to find her in front of the computer, logged in.

“You know how to turn it on?!”

No, this question is not uncalled for. She simply did not use computers at that time, and wasn’t really willing to learn. But now, of course, is better than way back then. She isn’t on her way to being a programmer, but can use the computer for basic stuff. Although, she gets paranoid when a harmless message from Windows or Firefox pops up, thinking that she did something wrong.

Nevertheless, I believe full well that my children won’t have to worry about these things…or perhaps a newer technology will come up and I’ll be inept at operating that.

(“Mom, why are you still using an iPod? That’s so old school!”)

Nah, I guarantee that there will still be iPods in the future, since Apple fanboys crave more of the shiny. Although, I can say that “Back in my day, we had this device called a Game Boy. And you can’t beat the console games that go into a Nintendo 64!” which will prompt eye-rolls and the like.

-

There are times when I feel like I allow people to have their way too often, so I’m never satisfied. Is that being nice or being a huge doormat? I don’t mind doing what others want, but many people are getting used to this and don’t even bother asking what I want to do or how I feel anymore. It’s the thought that counts, that’s all.

-

I’m not a soap opera/primetime ABC show/novela/Asian drama person. HOWEVER, I have totally fallen in love with Sunao ni Narenakute. The premise: four (later five) people who are friends on Twitter meet each other in real life (I love how the show is about Twitter). Drama ensues.

The thing that got me hooked to the show wasn’t the drama, but the soundtrack. The first episode opened with The Ting Tings (I decided right away that I liked it) and also included the likes of The Republic Tigers and Owl City.

Oh yeah, and “Hard to Say I Love You” by Weaver has been on a loop for a while. :)

-

HSA week is the best! I get enough rest and there are shorter classes. It’s been fun. I obtained rubber ducks from people.

-

Do colleges expect you to be superhuman? “Hey guys, let’s make admissions even harder by taking into account their grades, test scores, extracurriculars, community service, how flexible their toes are, how many marshmallows they can stuff into their nostrils, eye color, mastery of the art of plate spinning, and how big they can blow bubbles! And of course, this all needs to be done on a pogo stick.”

Too many expectations, guys. We’re just kids.

-

How is my husband? He’s not blond anymore, but looking fly as ever. I’m telling you, Taguchi Junnosuke is the only Asian that looks good with blond hair. He has more singing parts in Going! (KAT-TUN’s new single). It’s autotuney, but catchy. Plus, Junno’s in it, so I love it anyway.

No More Pain! 6/16/10!!!

Junno, I love you.

-

Glee. ‘Nuff said.

Not aimed at any particular person. That would be mean (meaner than it already is). I’m sure that someone out there has their own list of “This is why you suck” for me, but doesn’t everyone shake their fist at society once in a while?

This is written to be funny. I hope I don’t make anyone sad…

1. You say “like” too much. If you see me counting with my fingers in class while someone is talking, most likely (no pun intended) I am counting the number of times they say unnecessary “likes.” It’s annoying when someone sprinkles superfluous words (including curses) throughout their sentences. It delays the transmission of your message. Stop being a Valley Girl.

2. The way you eat is ugly. OM NOM NOM NOM! There’s a funny way to eat, but there’s also a nasty way to eat. Who needs to see freshly masticated food while you chew with your mouth open, or sauce dribbling from your mouth? Napkins are great inventions, use them.

3. You don’t know when to stop. You are a nuisance because you just won’t quit. This is not the right time. You know you’re being annoying, so stop talking, screaming, singing (badly or not), touching, etc. There is a time and a place for everything. Take the initiative to read the situation properly, then make your move.

4. You make a big deal out of everything. You blow things completely out of proportion. Drama queen much? You take things too lightly, so things upset you more than they should. The weirdest thing is that the drama queens I’ve met are mostly male.

5. You’re a jerk. You never hesitate to hurt someone’s feelings. Your arrogance drives me through the roof. Mean, hurtful comments spew from your mouth without even a second thought. You are the moodiest, most annoying, most Americanized member of the band! (*cough* Akanishi Jin *cough*) I bet you guys don’t even remember the torment you put poor kids through when you were a child. That is just sad.

6. You’re awkward. This one’s iffy. Some people don’t mean to be awkward. Maybe they’re just shy. They get a free pass. However, there is such a thing as annoying awkward. Can you not barge into our conversations at lunchtime, speak at unnecessary intervals, and drive us into awkward silences all the time? And NEVER make me quiz you for a FOOD TRENDS test again!

7. You have put innocent civilians in danger. Terrorism is a touchy subject, but you probably know where I’m going with this. You may have put innocent people in danger due to carelessness, selfishness, stupidity, or extremist ideas. I don’t want you texting while driving. Metro conductors, do your job. Why did you do a “stoop and squat” in the middle of the road? That totaled our car and almost got us killed.

8. You don’t know what you want. I am an indecisive person myself, but when I say this, I’m going beyond that. You broke up with him/her/it, only to realize that the other person wasn’t what you thought they were, so you come crawling back to someone you tossed aside. Or, you have such high of expectations of everyone and everything that no one can please you. Or, you make rash decisions about what you “think” you want, but you desire something else entirely. This is vague, I know, but I don’t really know how to put this one into words.

9. Sice. Alias. Grimy. Guh. STFU.

10. You bring too much drama. Most of the drama happened when I was young, not so much anymore. But man, it was a really annoying time. I hate having to go to school and go through World War Three because she likes him (but she shouldn’t), or she’s a bitch, or she made false accusations, or she’s picking on someone. I especially hate those cases where the girl gathers as many people as possible and gangs up on the other person. Poor, unfortunate souls…

And one more sprinkled in for fun!

11. You pretend you’re dumb. AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH girls like this make me want to pull my haiiirrr outtt. You know, it’s not wrong to be articulate and knowledgeable. I know you get fantastic grades, so act like it! We don’t need to see you dress so all your bits are hanging out, and we also don’t need another ditz tossing her hair, giggling like a maniac.

Okay, amidst all the negativity, I’ll post a well-needed “This is why you don’t suck” blog later. Phew, got all that nice and vented. But you have to admit, some of these are all too true…

I admit, I’m a black sheep. I wish I could be purple, or green, or plaid, but I’m not. I want to be individual and love myself for who I am. I want to avoid being a white sheep at all costs. But sometimes, I compromise color change to be come a little lighter. But in the end I just want to become a different color again.

I’m looking back at my old posts. I was quite the passionate writer, pointing out all the flaws in society with fiery fervor! My recent posts have been relatively calm and level-headed, without the overuse of exclamation points. But even two years ago, even when I was blinded by a youth’s naiveté, I managed to churn out deep life lessons.

Tell me, (or not), have you ever needed to change yourself for other people? Or have you always been strong and comfortable in your own skin?

I would love to proudly declare, “Absolutely!” But, I’m not that strong.

I try to put on an air of confidence. I would like to. People want to see people who have guts, stability in their lives, and smiles on their faces. But sometimes, as I’ve said before, reality is painful. I’ve tried to change myself, just little things. But it never works out. I’m never cooler, smarter, or less annoying than I initially was. So, I always revert back to my original state. It’s easier to be someone I am than someone I want to be.

Enough sad talk. I am who I am, so that probably won’t change anytime soon. I need to be comfortable in my own skin, because it’s the only one I’m ever going to have.

From my post on shaving (12/16/08):

straight razor : armpit :: tabasco sauce : the eye

I’m really surprised that even at that time, I STILL thought analogies were on the SAT. Didn’t they already change the format around 2004? Wow, I was an oblivious kid. Still am.

A post is coming up entitled, “This is why you suck.” I’m almost done. It’s numbered, not quite a rant, but it’s not very nice, either. I want it to make people laugh, so lower your pitchforks! Isn’t it all in good fun to, again, point out the flaws in society?

From my first post (11/2/08)

Over the course of me keeping my blog (which will probably be a span of 2-3 weeks) you’ll get to know me as much as one can from published media, so there really isn’t much to say at the moment.

I am happy to say that I stayed slightly committed for almost a year and a half.

Luckily this didn’t take me too long to think about. Of course they are! I guess if all the famous people in the world weren’t fans of other famous people, there would be no celebrity left for them to like. It’s kind of funny to hear someone famous say, “I like Fergie,” or something along the lines of that. This also relates to the notion that celebrities are people too.

2. On a highway, I thought I saw a sign that said “Brokeback Mountain,” but it was actually “Braddock Mountain.”

If I keep doing double-takes as often as I do, I’m going to get whiplash. This may be a sign that I often jump to ridiculous conclusions.

3. If it’s a five-day forecast, shouldn’t it be a fivecast?

Alright, I took this from Drake and Josh, but I’ve always thought it was funny for some reason. Don’t hate!

4. What would it be like to jump in a vat/swimming pool of _____?

Jello, blocks of memory foam, oobleck, kool-aid. You name it, I’ve thought of jumping into a vat of it. I mean, come on, who hasn’t thought of jumping into a vat of something? One of my goals in life is to gather a vast amount of something non-conventional and fill a swimming pool with it. I would definitely die having fulfilled a lifelong dream.

5. Big Words

I prefer to utilize my extensive vocabulary because it makes me feel intelligent. If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say, “Stop using big words,” I probably wouldn’t be panicking about scholarships and financial aid for college.

“So, what you’re saying is, I have to dumb myself down to meet your mediocrity?”

At least, this is what I grumble to myself whenever someone freaks out when I use a big word. And the words I use aren’t even that hard to figure out. Go read a book or something.

This subject has come up a lot in conversation lately, so maybe it’s more important than I thought it was. Is it bad to be smart? Why do smart people get all the flack from others, when in reality, they’re just trying their best to live a fulfilling, enlightening life? This is why I don’t like discussing standardized test scores with others (*PSAT, cough,cough*), because I get scoffed or sneered at. First of all, it isn’t anyone’s business, and secondly, since when was a high test score a bad thing?

I don’t think I get the grades I get because I’m smarter than people. Anyone can get an good GPA if they put effort into it. I believe grades reflect more on your work ethic than how smart you are. You’ve never seen a hard worker get bad grades, right?

Even so, “geeks” and “nerds” will always be ridiculed, regardless of the few exceptions that will go on to take over the world.

6. Did I just go on a tangent?

Yes. Yes, I did. I tend to do that. A rant on society’s view of intelligence was not where I wanted to go with the entry. I’m tired.