This is why you suck.
April 12th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
Not aimed at any particular person. That would be mean (meaner than it already is). I’m sure that someone out there has their own list of “This is why you suck” for me, but doesn’t everyone shake their fist at society once in a while?
This is written to be funny. I hope I don’t make anyone sad…
1. You say “like” too much. If you see me counting with my fingers in class while someone is talking, most likely (no pun intended) I am counting the number of times they say unnecessary “likes.” It’s annoying when someone sprinkles superfluous words (including curses) throughout their sentences. It delays the transmission of your message. Stop being a Valley Girl.
2. The way you eat is ugly. OM NOM NOM NOM! There’s a funny way to eat, but there’s also a nasty way to eat. Who needs to see freshly masticated food while you chew with your mouth open, or sauce dribbling from your mouth? Napkins are great inventions, use them.
3. You don’t know when to stop. You are a nuisance because you just won’t quit. This is not the right time. You know you’re being annoying, so stop talking, screaming, singing (badly or not), touching, etc. There is a time and a place for everything. Take the initiative to read the situation properly, then make your move.
4. You make a big deal out of everything. You blow things completely out of proportion. Drama queen much? You take things too lightly, so things upset you more than they should. The weirdest thing is that the drama queens I’ve met are mostly male.
5. You’re a jerk. You never hesitate to hurt someone’s feelings. Your arrogance drives me through the roof. Mean, hurtful comments spew from your mouth without even a second thought. You are the moodiest, most annoying, most Americanized member of the band! (*cough* Akanishi Jin *cough*) I bet you guys don’t even remember the torment you put poor kids through when you were a child. That is just sad.
6. You’re awkward. This one’s iffy. Some people don’t mean to be awkward. Maybe they’re just shy. They get a free pass. However, there is such a thing as annoying awkward. Can you not barge into our conversations at lunchtime, speak at unnecessary intervals, and drive us into awkward silences all the time? And NEVER make me quiz you for a FOOD TRENDS test again!
7. You have put innocent civilians in danger. Terrorism is a touchy subject, but you probably know where I’m going with this. You may have put innocent people in danger due to carelessness, selfishness, stupidity, or extremist ideas. I don’t want you texting while driving. Metro conductors, do your job. Why did you do a “stoop and squat” in the middle of the road? That totaled our car and almost got us killed.
8. You don’t know what you want. I am an indecisive person myself, but when I say this, I’m going beyond that. You broke up with him/her/it, only to realize that the other person wasn’t what you thought they were, so you come crawling back to someone you tossed aside. Or, you have such high of expectations of everyone and everything that no one can please you. Or, you make rash decisions about what you “think” you want, but you desire something else entirely. This is vague, I know, but I don’t really know how to put this one into words.
9. Sice. Alias. Grimy. Guh. STFU.
10. You bring too much drama. Most of the drama happened when I was young, not so much anymore. But man, it was a really annoying time. I hate having to go to school and go through World War Three because she likes him (but she shouldn’t), or she’s a bitch, or she made false accusations, or she’s picking on someone. I especially hate those cases where the girl gathers as many people as possible and gangs up on the other person. Poor, unfortunate souls…
And one more sprinkled in for fun!
11. You pretend you’re dumb. AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH girls like this make me want to pull my haiiirrr outtt. You know, it’s not wrong to be articulate and knowledgeable. I know you get fantastic grades, so act like it! We don’t need to see you dress so all your bits are hanging out, and we also don’t need another ditz tossing her hair, giggling like a maniac.
Okay, amidst all the negativity, I’ll post a well-needed “This is why you don’t suck” blog later. Phew, got all that nice and vented. But you have to admit, some of these are all too true…
